Lessons Learned

Things that I have learned that you might be interested in (because, after all, I'm writing this blog for you, right?):

To me, life in itself has no purpose. My goal 6 months ago was to get a high-paying job I didn't hate and pay off my debts, then invest and get rich. I know now that that's the fastest way for me to hit 50 and realize that I've done NOTHING with my life. I believe that my purpose in life, everyone's purpose actually, is to help other people that could use the help. I was lucky enough to be born into fortunate circumstances, so I sure as hell better try and pay back the debt that I have accrued over my life. Especially living in America, where almost every large company has some sort of malpractice issues. Just by living I am taking away from someone, so just sitting and working my ass off at some research job isn't going to help. My job is going to have to help people, to save lives, for me to really feel any fulfillment once I get old and die. And, since there is no heaven, God, Buddha, or whatever, I've just got one chance to get it right. And who says I'm not going to be run over by a bus tomorrow? It's rather scary.

Dating in middle/high school is a good thing, as long as you don't progress too fast. Actually, I think it would be better just to say "If you're inexperienced in dating and relationships, always take the first one slow." I usually don't go for certain "all" or "never"s, but I think in this case it's very applicable. Realize when you feel uncomfortable that something is wrong, and try to figure out what it is. My problem was that I thought I was okay with my first relationship being entirely physical; I thought it would be good "experience." I didn't really think of what it would be like when I had to interact with the person around other people. I ended up feeling as awkward as a wheelchair with square wheels and broke it off (by cell phone, no less) the night after. Long story short, I rushed in because I was excited that someone seemed to want me physically and wasn't afraid to pursue me, ignored the uncertainty that arose when I realized that he didn't go for monogamous relationships, and ended up with a memory that hasn't quite stopped bothering me yet. Luckily, I don't believe in regret and make a point of never mourning past choices, but I'm still waiting for time to make that one burn a little less.

Note to self: Himitsu, this post sucks. Edit better. But go to bed now.